Thursday, May 27, 2010


When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren

I read this quote today, posted by one of my "fan pages" (or whatever they're called now) on Facebook. I'd say Ms. Loren hit the nail on the head! There's just something about being a mom that doesn't let your mind ever rest or fully disengage. You're always thinking ahead.

As an infant, those thoughts revolved around Caleb's next feeding- for my life truly did revolve around his eating "schedule" (perhaps routine is a better choice of word, since we didn't utilize any type of schedule?). If I needed to go somewhere or do something, I had to "tank him up" and run out the door, because within a couple of hours, he'd be ready for more. OH, and no matter how many bottles of milk I pumped, he refused them. Preferred his meals directly from the source. I'd be lying if I said that was an annoyance or troublesome- some of my best memories come from remembering that little face with milk dribbles on the chin, resting peacefully on my arm, and knowing that I alone provided him with all he needed in life. So this responsibility, this blessing of nursing him truly did dictate the what, when, and where of my life for months.

As I've transformed into the mom of a toddler, my thought patterns have changed, as well. Sure, I still ponder thoughts of "when will he be ready to eat again?" and use them to shape my day, but as his mobility has increased, I've developed a sort of sixth sense for always knowing where he is. Most of the time, I need to have my eyes on him, for curious toddler hands have a way of finding anything they shouldn't touch. As he grows, he's discovering all of the things stashed away on tables and countertops, no longer safe from wandering eyes and hands. Subconsciously, I always know where he is and what he's doing. Even on the rare occasion that we're apart, I still find myself "keeping eyes on him" out of habit. A month or so ago, Caleb stayed with my inlaws while I went to my annual eye doctor appointment. For the first time, having my eyes dilated caused vision disturbances and a major migraine. So, I came home for a few hours- alone- and waited on my hubby to come home from work. That was the first time I'd been by myself in the house for more than five minutes since before Caleb was born! It's second nature- I kept looking for him and reminding myself that he wasn't here.

So yep, it's true. The brain of a mommy doesn't have an off switch. I love it.